Let there Be Slushee

Thanks to those of you who sent in an email for a free Cranium Candy movie. If you haven’t yet, just drop us an email at craniumcandymovies@yahoo.com with the subject, “Send me a DVD!” anytime this week. We’ll pick some names next week.

As I sit outside here at Swork Coffee, hoping those black clouds just keep moving on by without drenching me, I’m thinking of some new screenplay ideas. Supposedly there are no new ideas, just new twists on ideas… and I’m feeling lazy, so I’m trying to combine some of the great movies that have come out lately…

My new movie is about a sweet teenage girl who gets pregnant and while pondering her situation, she finds a suitcase full of money at the scene of a drug deal gone bad. It’s all told from her point of view holding her camcorder and there’s a monster taking over her town. She suffers the pains of growing up, feeling rejected, being chased by assassins, and she befriends an odd barber from Fleet Street who burns CDs and shows her old horror movies. She gets him to get rid of the monster by trying to give the creature a shave. Hmmm, still not enough… she needs to turn into a cannibal somewhere there too and grow fangs. Juno always drinks those blue slushees, so we’ll have her drill for oil too and watch her veins pop out when she yells like Daniel Day Lewis and we’ll call it “Let there Be Slushee.” “Cloverfield” got its title from the writer giving it a working title of a nearby street. I guess I’ll call my screenplay “Brand Blvd.” No – I’ll name it after a freeway… it’ll be called “210 East!” …Okay, okay, I’ll hit the delete button right now! …Done!

Well, even though that’s going a bit far, I think movies that combine lots of different elements can be really interesting. Not a bunch of plot lines, but just a nice story with a blend of comedy, drama, passion, irony, and where it’s trying to say something without hitting you over the head. Since life around us isn’t one style – it’s funny, stressful, tense, boring, etc. etc., it seems like our movies should reflect that too... right?

No Zombies, No Demons

A few years back, between Zombie and monster movies, I wanted to do something different. I wrote a romance that was set around a bizarre group of Hollywood people - “Shattered Dreams & the Pretty Peach Martini.” I know what you’re thinking, and you’re right – I am known for my really really long titles.

“Shattered Dreams & the Pretty Peach Martini.” is not about the acting or glamorous side of Hollywood, it’s about a college student – Nicole - who loves movies. She longs to be a successful and respected talent agent. She doesn’t know what she’s fallen into with a bunch of angry, crazy clients. One tough goth model was jealous that Nicole got the agent position, so she wrestles her to the floor right there in the office in a cat fight. Nicole avoids a lot of her feelings, which makes things worse… She thinks she’s still in love with her boyfriend back home, but we see when she uses his picture as a coaster for her martini, that she’s not totally as serious about him as she admits.

Casting was tricky because I had definite character traits in mind. For the lead, I cast Jenny Ann Powell. She’s not a slick “model type,” but more the girl next door, friendly and a bit shy. She played a character who could go from mousie and awkward to passionate. You see that a lot in movies, but it takes a lot more than flinging off the horn-rimmed glasses and taking your hair out of the librarian bun to pull that off. Then she despises Roger, an ex-porn star, but has an intense attraction to him. For the male model, I cast Kaya, an actual model, and very strong actor – sensitive, with a Fabio-type look and personality.

Yes, given my other movies, it was tempting to chuck it all and have Nicole grow fangs on the beach and just eat the guy up… but I restrained myself!

“Shattered Dreams” was a nice shoot, but we did have some logistical problems that came up. On the beach day, we had such a long day that Jennifer was burned like a lobster. Then the next day we had to shoot the scenes that in the script took place right before the beach, so it was hard to get around that bad burn… especially since her scene that day before was a nude scene! It all ended up working out and the movie came together to be funny, sad, steamy and quirky.

You can see a clip here: http://www.filmbaby.com/films/2368

Free Movie Drawing

From some of the comments I’ve gotten, most readers of this Blog haven’t seen a Cranium Candy movie… and a lot haven’t really seen many “B-Movies.” I think it’d be fun to mail out a movie to a few of you who would really like to see one and comment. I’m not interested in getting “reviews”… just if you want to write a couple sentences about the movie… not to “promote” the movie, really… just some real reactions to it or the B-Movie style in general. Plus, we’ll post your picture in the Blog too, if you want. I’ll mail a few of you a free DVD of one of our movies. Here are the basic requirements:

1. Must be excited about watching a B-Movie
2. Must be 18+
3. Have a U.S. or Canadian mailing address of some kind (po box is okay)
4. Haven’t worked for Cranium Candy Entertainment before.
5. Email us right now - before this Tuesday, Jan. 29.
   
6. Be excited to have your picture and/or comments posted on several Blog sites.

Just email us at craniumcandymovies@yahoo.com and tell us which one of the movies listed below that you’d like to see. (List a second and third choice, just in case, too.)

First, we’ll separate emails by region in the U.S. (and Canada), then from those, pick 4 or 5 at random…

Here are the choices of DVD –

1. Curse of the Pink Panties - Sexy Comedy (strong language, lots of panties, but no actual nudity)
2. Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank - Campy Horror (some nudity – we have very few screener copies of this one right now)
3. Shattered Dreams & the Pretty Peach Martini - Quirky Erotic Hollywood Romance (nudity)
4. Bittersweet Lies - Teen Drama/Supernatural (strong language, but no nudity)

This is a good one if you’re not into the exploitation B-Movies – more of a serious drama

5. Bikini Beach Bust & Into Thin Air - 2 short movies on one DVD Sexy Comedy / Supernatural teen drama (no nudity)

Revenge of Mr. Willie is going onto DVD in a couple months, but for now, you could get that or “Sex, Chocolate & Zombie Republicans” on VHS – free. Sexy Dark Comedy / Horror Parody (nudity)

Shipping anywhere in the U.S. or Canada is free. This is very informal – not an official “contest” or anything… just something to give you a chance to see B-Movie – more than a little 2 minute YouTube clip.

Email craniumcandymovies@yahoo.com with subject “Want Movie”. List a mailing address for us to mail the DVD and several choices from the list above. Confirm in the email that you are 18+.

If you don’t like horror or sexy B-Movie craziness, and you want more of a sexy movie that’s both romantic and dramatic, “Shattered Dreams & the Pretty Peach Martini” would be good, or if you want more of a PG Teen Drama with Supernatural elements, Bittersweet Lies would be a good choice. The first 3 names we draw… we’ll include a free lg. “Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank” t-shirt too! Email us with any questions you might have, and thanks for reading our Blog!

Perfect Location

After yesterday’s post, I was remembering some of the film classes I took from B-Movie director Irv Berwick many years ago. One story he told the class was that while directing “The Monster of Piedras Blancas,” they were allowed to shoot around the lighthouse, but there were strict rules about not shooting inside it. The city even had a security guard posted so they wouldn’t go inside. Over a couple days, one of the crew guys got friendly with the guard and took him out for a few beers… quickly the crew slipped into the Lighthouse and got a wonderful ending shot of the two romantic leads kissing. After directing some of my own low budget movies I realize how important it is to get that good shot, no matter what.

I wrote about “Bittersweet Lies” yesterday too… and I think I picked up a little bit from Mr. Berwick’s experiences. I had a friend who worked with the City Parks Department. She said she could get a good rate for us to rent the park’s recreation rooms, but the City was a real stickler about having permits for any kind of movie shoot. The park facilities were perfect – institutional-looking… grates on the windows… drab green walls with a piano in there… I just had to use it! What I did was to rent the facility and tell the City I was having a family reunion. That weekend, during the shoot, one of the City employees came around to check up on us. I was right in the middle of shooting an intense group therapy scene and when he came in and asked “Hey, what are you doing in here?” I was speechless. Usually I’m ready for the “You got any Insurance?” or “Where’s your permit?” questions… but this took me by surprise.

What saved us was that one of the actresses – Hannah Lee – was playing the part of a burned out, spacey stoner named Cydonia. She was perfectly in character as she said, “We’re having some fellowship. It’s really beautiful. Please, join us. Can we get you something to eat?” Well, his eyes widened, I guess thinking we were some kind of freaky cult ready to pass out the Kool-Aid, and he got out of there really fast.

I later found out that some groups were renting the city facilities and holding some kind of Amway-type meetings there where they took money from people… so the city was extra cautious and suspicious. Then… We needed to rent the facilities one more weekend, and then another… by this time they were really suspicious! I told them each time that we had such a nice family reunion, we decided to have a few more! I ended up having six “family reunions” in one month!

“Bittersweet Lies” was an intense, but rewarding shoot. I hadn’t worked with an ensemble cast like that for awhile. I’ve since lost touch with many of the actors, but Aasha Davis, who played Allie, played a starring role on the TV hit “House” last season. The star of “Bittersweet Lies” – Hilary Bettis - who played Brooke (the bitter girl who was a compulsive liar), has gone on to write and produce her own short movie aimed at the Festival Circuit, with a good-sized budget in New York. I sent her some sample proposals when she started this to get investors and I guess she raised a pretty healthy budget for her movie. She hasn’t offered to fly me out to play a part in it yet (hint, hint, if you’re reading this now, Hilary) but I’ll keep my phone on at all times! I have been immersed in filmmaking, and then marketing the movies… but I do miss acting at times.

Fun, Classic B-Movies

After releasing “Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank,” a lot of people assume Cranium Candy Entertainment mainly produces horror films… that was actually the first horror I had ever done. I like horror movies, but that’s not my favorite genre at all.

When I was a kid, I went through a phase where I absolutely lived and breathed horror movies… they used to run old B-Movies on a TV show called “Chiller.” They didn’t show the famous, classic B-Movies… but more obscure, totally cheap B-Movie horror. I remember “The Hideous Sun Demon,” where a scientist actually went through reverse-evolution when he was exposed to the sun, and turned into a prehistoric lizard-creature. “Target Earth” was fun – made in the 50’s - and “The Cyclops,” was about a giant 50 foot man with one eye. He kind-of twisted his face up and growled which was frightening and made you feel sorry for him at the same time. Do you remember any of these? … kirkfilms@hotmail.com. I also loved “The Monster of Piedras Blancas” – about a Black-Lagoon-type creature that wreaked havoc in a seaside community. Years ago I took a film class taught by the director - Irv Berwick, who told us a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff that went on. I’ll tell one of his stories next Blog.

There were some movies so obscure… there was one with a giant glob/creature that looked like a big beanbag chair. It squished a skinny, weasly guy named Max, trapped in a cave… till blood poured out of his mouth. That was pretty daring for a movie on TV back then. Sound familiar? I can’t think if that title.

My movies include some horror parodies, a political satire, and sexy comedies. I like to have a variety of genres, even though most are fun, quirky movies. The most different movie I made was, I think, “Bittersweet Lies.” Even though it had comedy in it, it was a drama set in a teen suicide prevention facility. None of the girls grew fangs and ate their boyfriends. No Dawn-of-the-dead Republican Zombies tried to take over the world. It was a relationship-based story with Supernatural overtones.

Well, I’m still thinking about how to get some DVD screeners to some of you readers there… and I’m sure I’ll come up with something within the next couple days…

Cheap Shot

I wasn’t going to talk about the Sexy VJ Party Girls again, but I just heard from Kurt, my editor… that he’s making good progress with editing and authoring their video. They are hosting my feature length comedy from a few years back, “CyberSex Kittens.”

Kurt leads such a different lifestyle, which I often forget when we’re talking on the phone. He is right on the U.S/Mexican border in Southern Arizona and as we’re talking this morning, one of his dogs starts barking like mad and chasing a stray donkey that walks by outside his back window. That’s an every day occurrence for him, I guess. The only donkey’s rear-end I see here in L.A. is if my former literary agent happens to walk by! (Cheap shot, I know… but I couldn’t help it). Kurt also battles with all the tarantulas and snakes out there… I’ve got to get him to start a Blog – he’d have a lot to write about!

A few years back, I used to sit right there with an editor… every moment. Now, to be able to exchange files through the mail and online and be hundreds of miles away is, I think, easy to take for granted… but it makes the whole process so much more efficient.

I hadn’t thought about this for a long time, but I used to have really long editing sessions with these editors. One of the longest was when I worked a full time job in the Valley during the week, then I’d go down to Venice, all day Saturday and all day Sunday… did this for an entire year to finish up “Sex, Chocolate & Zombie Republicans.”

Anyway… back to the new “CyberSex Kittens” DVD… Kurt is not supposed to tell me much about the girls’ actual reviews, but he lead me to believe that they definitely liked it.

I thought Fawn and Lindsey would relate to the fact that the movie is a cat-and-mouse game about guys trying to control womens’ minds to do anything they want… then the women turn the tables on them. It’s a fun movie, but kind of deals with psychological warfare. I guess the VJ Girls missed that though, and the thing that put the movie over the top was Fawn loved where the girl opens the champagne bottle and the cork pops one of the nerds right in the eye. Gotta love those Sexy VJ Party Girls!

Real People

My Co-Producer on “Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank” - Danilo Mancinelli - is great at finding online reviews and he even manages to dig up the smallest mention of the movie here and there. He ran across a few new reviews and forwarded them to me… some good, some bad, and some right in the middle.

I must say… I prefer “real people” reviews, actually. When they love something, they shout its praises and when they hate it, they definitely let you know that too. Sometimes one heartfelt word can say more than a whole 3 or 4 paragraphs from a “regular” reviewer. The following are real comments from real people directly from our YouTube videos as they were written:

About the “Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank” Preview:

this is hilllllarious!!! F-ing Lame! and i lol'd damn. that sucked. new grindhouse this is awesome my name is chelsea too! WTF???

About the “Curse of the Pink Panties” Preview:

what butts dude!! mmmmmmmmmmmmm what a ass . corrrr a ganster video?...LOL!

Some “real” reviewers have mentioned that they thought the guts look too stringy when the girls are eating Clem the Gardener’s intestines… Who is analyzing the texture of the intestines with two beautiful cannibals in their underwear chowing down on Clem? Another reviewer thought Zack and Felicity should explain the fact that guys become sort-of entranced when they are attacked… so we understand those reactions in advance. How should that dialog go?

FELICITY. Say Zack… did you notice that men fall into sort of a mesmerized trance when they first lay eyes on a Cannibal Babe?

ZACK: Why, yes. Thank you for clarifying that fact, Felicity… That would explain their trans-like reaction. Spellbound… a sort of hypnotic state… yes.

FELICITY. Hypnotic… absorbed… why yes! Yes, it certainly would! That’s what happens, Zack!

Another review mentioned that the driving scene was too long… Now, I don’t even remember a driving scene… unless somebody broke into all the “Decrepit Crypt of Nightmare” packs and did some quick editing on “Babes” – added a scene or two. Maybe in “Babes 2,” I’ll have Zack and Felicity ditch the car and ride the Amtrak for more interest???

I attached a collage of "Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank" scenes since I couldn't find any driving shots… but I’ll keep looking…

All in all, I appreciate and get ideas from reviews of all kinds… but as you can see by the totally honest, non-pretentious user reviews above (even if you can’t understand some of them at all!), straightforward, gut-level feelings – are worth their weight in gold. What do you think?

Before I close, I was wondering… I’ve been doing this Blog for about 3 weeks on several different sites. Some of the comments I’ve gotten back are from readers who aren’t really familiar with B-Movies, but they’re intrigued. I am trying to figure out a way to get some free DVDs to some of you, for you to check out and comment on… and that way you’ll know what I’m talking about with this B-Movie style, and when I refer to certain movies I produced. I’ll think about this and come up with a few ideas. If you have any thoughts too, let me know. Kirkfilms@hotmail.com Thanks.

Vampira

Last week it was announced that Maila Nurmi, who was “Vampira,” had passed away. She was supposedly the inspiration for the Morticia Addams character. She also became the first big hostess in the B-Movies – a sexy Goth character… that was 1954. Some credit her for pioneering the teenage goth movement of today too: http://www.vampirasattic.com

Nurmi filed a 10 million dollar lawsuit in 1989, saying that Elvira pirated her character. Ten million is quite a lawsuit! That’s not easy to see someone doing “your character,” and becoming a hit, I’m sure… but I always looked at Elvira as more of a parody of Vampira.

Aside from Elvira and the Robots on Mystery Science Theater, I don’t know of a lot of fun hosts giving commentary on movies that have gotten really big. Maybe I should give the Sexy VJ Party Girls some fangs and vampire capes instead of letting them run around in their underwear during their reviews… oh well!

I just heard that Fawn and Lindsey reviewed a couple more movies. They had a movie night watching a drama, and they both fell asleep… the camera got 2 hours of them snoring. It sounds like they did like “CyberSex Kittens” though, but Fawn always wants to see more naked guys than girls in a movie or she threatens to give it a bad review.

Just before the holidays, I thought it’d be great to tape an interview with the Sexy VJ Party Girls. The beach seemed like a perfect setting – calm and serene - to find out more about them… but they ended up singing and dancing the whole time. Kurt Gallant, my editor at Acevideoediting.com thought he was editing an interview… instead it turned out to be a music video: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=26086525

I have to say, those Sexy VJ Girls may not be the most insightful reviewers, but they sure have some talent!

Sexy VJ Party Girls

Today was still supposed to be windy with the biting-cold Santa Anas, but actually it was really nice. I’m at Swork’s, thinking about my next DVD release. Our Executive Producer on “Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank” – Paul Beeson - was out a few months back and his brainstorm was to get some movie reviewers to host some Cranium Candy movies on DVD. Well, I was thinking Ebert and Roeper… but he “discovered” a couple of off-the-wall college girls that call themselves the Sexy VJ Party Girls (http://Myspace.com/sexyvjpartygirls).

When we first met with the girls – Fawn and Lindsey - I asked them what they thought about classics like “Citizen Kane”… and Fawn (the blonde) said “if there’s no hot guys in it… it ‘sucks drippy eggs.’ They are opinionated and sharp… but I don’t know if they’ve ever reviewed movies before! The Sexy VJ Party Girls have just finished hosting one of my older movies – “CyberSex Kittens.” By the way… I do hate that title, “CyberSex Kittens.” It was originally “Mind Control Madness” – about a couple nerds that invent a computer program to control peoples’ minds. Our Distributor at that time wanted to make the title sound more marketable. Well, I guess whatever title grabs the attention is the one to go with. I can’t wait to see what the VJ Party Girls have to say about “CyberSex Kittens” – their DVD should be out in February. When I told them that there was a lot of nudity and a really steamy love scene in “CyberSex Kittens,” their eyes lit up… and the good thing is, that I think on the best movies of all time list, “ the Sexy VJ Party Girls removed “Citizen Kane” and put “CyberSex Kittens” in the top 5 along with “Mean Girls” and “Michael Myers vs. Freddie.” AFI won’t like this one bit!

Right Place at the Right Time

Looking around the patio at Swork Coffee, I remember how we shot some “Blood Sucking Babes…” scenes right here. This is a privately-owned Coffee House, so they can let you shoot without a big hassle. Patricia, the owner is very artist-friendly too, which helps. On the other hand, trying to shoot at a chain store can be such a nightmare… insurance, paperwork, etc. Here at Swork’s, we had the run of the patio one day. It gave the movie an additional interesting new location too, instead of being like so many horror movies that take place in one living room scene after scene. Our shooting didn’t seem to disrupt anything that day, even with Felicity and Zack yelling at each other, and when a female zombie appears at the coffee house, smacking her bloody lips. Felicity chased her around the corner, but we got it in just a couple takes.

I’ve been blessed with many great locations… and interesting locations make a big difference in movies. For “Curse of the Pink Panties,” we found the perfect place for the gangster shoot-out - An actual warehouse in the manufacturing district of downtown LA. Fortunately, they just happened to have a graffiti artist paint the walls a few weeks before our shoot. It was beautiful, and the paint was vibrant – it was a little fantasy-like. There were mannequins, signs, motorcycle parts, and speakers strewn about. The owner, Tumbleweed was known for throwing big parties – like raves where bands played long into the night. It was very realistic that gangsters would actually meet here.

One for Every Mood

I got an email out of the blue with new “Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank” art work from Maxim Media. They are the distributors that put “Babes” in a multi-pack called “Decrepit Crypt of Nightmares”, but for that, they used our original box cover art. The new cover is truly amazing – they have quite an art department over there. This new version has two white faced cannibal-girls poised for attack. I haven’t seen girls with such sharp fangs ready for blood, and giving off demonic glares since the last time an actress tried to cash one of my Cranium Candy Entertainment paychecks! … o.k. - just kidding… but you get the idea.

I really want to publish that new box cover here… right now, but the version I got is a sample for corrections, so I should wait till the final draft is finished before I post. I used to think DVD cover art was pretty much good or bad, and you should try to use the best one – the choice that best represents the overall movie… but I’m finding more important, is what mood it conveys… and one film has many moods. There are campy elements to BSB, which is captured by our original cover and this new art conveys a darker, more horrific mood… both are elements of the movie… but different approaches appeal to different people. Marketing people in the studios intently study which single box design to go with. I say… hey, just go with several. Like red wine, a gin martini or champagne – they’re all good – have them all… it’s just that each is better for a particular mood.

The Afterlife

Where does your Spirit really go when you cross over to the other side? If you’ve been “good”, does it really float up through the clouds, only to be standing in front of some huge gates made of solid gold? I often think that whatever happens, there’s no reason you couldn’t take a little detour along the way. If my Spirit were able to hang out on Earth for awhile after I die, if I’ve been “good” or even “okay”… I’d gravitate toward what I like. My little Sprit would probably hide inside my Panasonic camcorder. It might jump into a tall glass of rum and coke and swim around for awhile, dodging around the ice cubes. Now, the same should go if you’ve been “bad.” What if you kick the neighbor’s cat? Does that mean you’re going to plunge down into the earth and spend eternity in a fiery cavern? Wouldn’t it make more sense that your Spirit would end up stuck in the kitty’s litter box for a couple days or something? Now that would be true Karma!

This is the premise of Cranium Candy Entertainment’s new feature-length movie, “Curse of the Pink Panties.” Gangster Spirits float up into the trees after a big shootout, only to be sucked back down to earth – right into the panties of some girls performing a séance. The girls have to rid themselves of the menacing demons before it’s too late.

See for yourself at FilmBaby.com here: http://www.filmbaby.com/films/2475

“Curse of the Pink Panties” has a lot of silly fun and comedy in it… but it also explores the question… “What if…?”

WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKIN'?

I’m asked this a lot because of the bizarre titles I come up with. But to me, viewers scan hundreds of titles, so it’s important to come up with a title that grabs their attention – even for that extra little moment. I try to get a viewer to chuckle, or at least wonder about a title instead of just passing it by. A few years back I was thrilled that my title “Sex, Chocolate & Zombie Republicans” was voted best title of the year by Alternative Cinema Magazine.

“Sex, Chocolate & Zombie Republicans” was a movie where a curse wreaks havoc in peoples’ lives, causing them to face their worst nightmares. A girl gets upset that her boyfriend always falls asleep during sex, so when she walks down the street, every man she sees, falls fast asleep on the sidewalk (Sex). A model obsessed with her complexion gets a chocolate addition, which makes her break out in pimples (Chocolate)… and finally the worst nightmare of all – the curse turns ordinary nice townspeople into white-faced Right-wing war-monger Living Dead (Zombie Republicans)!

My most recent title was a take-off on “Curse of the Pink Panther” – a play on words making it “Curse of the Pink Panties.” I wanted it to be fun, but there are so many video clips with girls running around in panties – I wanted this title to show that there’s more to it. The film is a feature-length comedy about gangsters who are in a gun battle and as their spirits ascend into the sky, girls performing a séance for good luck with their panties commercial, cause the gangster/spirits to plunge down and get stuck in their panties. The unique thing too, is that I had the actors play it straight, taking the whole thing very seriously.

I’ll talk more about my other weird titles in another Blog. I really do have reasons behind all of them… or then again, maybe it is too many of those Bombeii Saphire Martinis!

Freaky but True

Several people who’ve read this Blog have asked me how I came up with the idea of “Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank.” The first thing I did was to think of the catchiest title I could… something so people would know right away that the movie is campy, and a gory horror at the same time. I first came up with the title before even starting on the script, but I had a good idea where it was going.

Even though it’s campy, bloody fun, I wanted something close to reality. When the description says “based on a true story” on the “Babes” box cover, not everyone believes it. The premise that DeAnza came over to America in the late 1770’s, though, is fact… The claim that he lead his group of 200 explorers from San Diego to San Francisco is all true. They went through the San Gabriel Valley (founding the San Gabriel Mission), then to Thousand Oaks… which would have let them right through Burbank. In fact, the thing is, that with the route they took, it’s quite possible that DeAnza traveled right by the location we shot at. Here’s an actual map of DeAnza’s route: http://www.solideas.com/DeAnza/TrailGuide.

Anywhere along the way, they could have lost the famed Angela’s Jewel Box... which is the premise of the movie. At that time, in Spain, witchcraft was at its peak too. I’ll go more into that connection in a future post, but it is absolutely freaky!

A quick word of warning… if you are every hiking near the Burbank mountains, be careful if you happen to unearth an ancient, ornate-looking jewel box. If you’ve seen “Babes” already, you know what could happen!

After the Rain

The pounding rain has let up for awhile. My “Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank” co-Producer, Danilo Mancinelli came out today with a friend of his, Cherise - who did much of the casting on Danilo’s sports movie, “Foul Shot.” Dan is celebrating the Jan. 1 opening of “Foul Shot” through major U.S. retailers. A bit early for wine, we all toasted to its success with some coffee.

I actually had a good scene in “Foul Shot” as Tom Newton, a basketball scout who is misled by the coach. That is the thing that prevents the star basketball player from moving up the ladder. It was a fun character to play and it’s great to see the movie doing so well.

“Foul Shot “ has been on Netflix for awhile and Dan, along with our Executive Producer Paul Beeson, were instrumental in getting “Blood Sucking Babes” on Netflix too. I hadn’t met Cherise before. Even though she was involved in casting, Dan had pulled me into the “Foul Shot” project himself. Cherise’s aunt, Loine Lynch is an actress and played one of the Burbank Bar Fooseball-playing Blood Sucking Babes for me in “BSB” too. Today was a good opportunity to hint to them both about doing “Foul Shot 2” – where there are terrorists loose in L.A. and it’s up to Tom Newton and the basketball star to save the world. I wouldn’t mind taking a break from behind-the-scenes for awhile!

Later, I ran a little at the secluded park I often shoot at, a few miles away, before the rains hit again. The grass was quite soggy and some college-age people were actually shooting a digital movie in the park. What a chance they took – there could have been a cloud burst any moment. They had a real casket set up, mourners and everything. Hey, I thought this was my own personal Cranium Candy Entertainment park to shoot in! This is where we had our own cemetery set up in “Revenge of Mr. Willie”. It also served as part of the woods where Wendy attacked Josh in “Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank” and where the girls meet the mysterious homeless genie in “Be careful What You Wish.” One of the unusual buildings in the middle of the park also doubled for the warehouse roof that the gangster spirits emerge from in “Curse of the Pink Panties” before they float through the trees.

That is a wonderful location because I had an editor once see this park in some footage I shot, and say, “I know exactly where that is – that’s the upper coast of Maine!” “Wow, how’d he know?!” (wink, wink)

Gross & Disgusting!

I was excited to see I got a lot of comments about yesterday’s Blog… then when I opened them, they were like, “Disgusting!” Gross!” “YUUUUUCK!” What could I have said to get these reactions? Then I looked at the picture I posted – the cute blonde Wendy eating Josh’s arm. You know, I don’t even think twice about some of those shots… but I guess they are pretty gory. To me, when I see the arm she’s munching on, it’s just a foam prop that I see sticking out of my prop box of bloody body parts in the garage. I forget that in the picture it looks pretty alarming. Well, to make up for it, I’m going to post a nice picture today… I’ll show one from my teen drama, “Bittersweet Lies.” (This will also show you I do some “normal” movies too!)

In fact, I know that the pictures don’t appear in some of these blogs, so if you don’t see them here, you can access the Wendy eats Josh picture here: http://CraniumCandy.com/blog.htm

Let me know if you think it’s too extreme to post on general blog sites. Also, I’ll include today’s “nice” picture.

People ask a lot if I’m a big horror fan. I do like horror movies, but most of what I’ve produced are comedies or horror parodies. My stuff usually has lots of comedy in it. I was never much for the extreme violence. One of my favorite B-Movies was the 80’s film, “Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama”… a David DeCoteau movie about pledge girls are stuck in a bowling alley with a demon that escapes from having been locked in a trophy. One of the girls who turns into a Ghoul, attacks this big chubby guy and rolls his head down the alley for a strike. That’s about as much violence as I usually like. “Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank” actually turned out gorier than I’d first planned. Some of the effects turned out to look very real. More gruesome, realistic horror movies, like stories about serial killers etc, aren’t “escape” – they’re too real. I don’t want to ever inspire real violence from a movie I make. I figure “Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank” won’t inspire girls to grow fangs and eat their boyfriends… but then again, a word of warning, guys… Be careful - You never know about those Burbank girls!

These Gloomy Days

Here I am again, huddled up with my coffee… and today I’m alone on the Swork Coffee patio, watching the clouds gather overhead. You can practically see the storm coming in. I really do love this weather to shoot in, though. It takes so much time to deal with the glaring sun when you don’t have a truckload of reflectors and diffusers… On a gloomy day like this you just use a few small reflectors and it takes a fraction of the time to shoot something… and the actors’ skin looks even and smooth.

Should I bang out a script and do a shoot right now before the sun goes down? I can be impulsive when it comes to shooting, but better not be that impulsive today…

Cold damp weather isn’t too much fun for the actors though, despite the fact that they look better. On an independent shoot in the hills there’s no trailer to get warm in. I remember the day we shot some of the “Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank” attack scenes in the mountains it was freezing cold like this… Especially one scene where Wendy (Ker’in Hayden) is running around in the brush in her bra and panties, biting Josh’s neck (Kevin Surrey) and then full-on eating him with blood covering them both. We had a very realistic foam rubber arm that matched Kevin’s skin tone perfectly… but we needed a shot of the blood totally drenching his shaking real arm first.

Ker’in and Kevin were freezing cold, but hung in there to get a great attack scene. Cold, sticky mint-flavored blood matted in their hair didn’t help, either. I was shooting camera that day, and I even had some of the sticky blood on my fingers which was glopping on the side of the camera, too.

On second thought… I’m definitely not going to shoot anything today… I’m just fine sitting right here!

Faster Faster Faster!

The hardest thing for me to get used to in blogging is that it’s so different from writing a screenplay. I’m used to setting the mood and describing the action in as few words as possible… just enough for the actors to have something to work with and still leave it open for them to add their own flair and interpretation to the scenes. The blogs I like most seem to be so descriptive. I’m sitting here at Swork Coffee in Montrose (a quaint little independent coffee house - not a chain you see on every corner.) Even though a storm is coming, it’s warm enough to be sitting out on their front patio without a jacket. Should I describe my feelings about the dark coffee – filled all the way to the top cause I hate when they leave room for cream and junk in your coffee? I don’t think so!

Especially nowadays, audiences seem to want fast - fast. I like it too. One of my favorite films is “Run Lola Run.” You’ve no doubt seen it – A German film about a girl racing against time to get ahold of $50.000 after her moped was stolen and save her boyfriend from thugs – all within an hour. No big car chases and explosions like an action movie has… but after “Run Lola Run,” everything seems too slow!

In “Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank”, I was conscious of jumping right into things. In the very beginning it starts off with Samantha falling on the grass, sickened by the bloody half-eaten body parts of Clem the Gardener strewn about. Then she drops her cell right in a pool of blood. Now, flash back to Samantha and her boyfriend Gary wrestling on the bed. Instead of having a conversation about the problems in their relationship, you see exactly what’s going on when they romp in their underwear, about to kiss… and suddenly Samantha has to jump over to the computer and watch her webcast, to Gary’s great frustration. I always try to have something going on… like even when the girls are in the bar sipping cosmos and talking about the cursed jewel box, they are soon wrestling with Breck - a misogynistic bar Dude.

Jumping to my newest movie, “Curse of the Pink Panties”… I took more time with some of the scenes and developing the characters, but still was conscious of the pacing. It’s unlike any movie I’ve seen, with a style all its own. There are good character scenes, and it moves well too. A lot of this is due to my editor Erika Doss - She keeps it moving and carefully picked the very best shots.

Now, before I blog more intensely about my deepest inner feelings about my coffee here, which hasn’t cooled off a bit, and this Swork cranberry scone… I’ll spare you and sign off for today!

Cranium Candy Movies First Post

Here begins my first-ever Blog – January 1, 2008. Well, it is the new year – what better time, right? I’ve been making movies for years but I never took the thought of writing about my experiences seriously. It seems like lately though, some actors I’ve worked with, co-producers, and some B-Movie fans I don’t even know, said they wanted to read my Blog.

I guess that makes sense… My low budget movie company, Cranium Candy Entertainment isn’t a 9-5 job, it’s a 24 hour a day adventure. While most people think, “1995 – that’s the year I got my big promotion, did that European vacation, got engaged...” For me it’s, “What did I do in 1995? – I cast and directed the dark comedy horror parody “Revenge of Mr. Willie” about a killer “private part” and wrote a new screenplay “Sex, Chocolate & Zombie Republicans”. What else did I do that year? Uh – I really don’t remember! My movies are sort-of all-consuming.

Why do I keep putting off blogging? I think one reason is that, of course I want more people to see my movies, but I don’t like to do a big sales pitch, “Hey, everybody – Watch my new horror, ‘Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank’ on Netflix! Check out my site now!” I don’t care about being a Carnival Barker for the masses. But the executive producer on my “Blood Sucking Babes…” – Paul Beeson, who sends me millions of emails about blogging all the time said, “Hey Kirk, just write whatever you want. If you have 5 people read it, that’s okay.” That makes sense. If I can just relax and tell some stories, that’ll be fine.

So here is the start of my Blog. Both 2006 and 2007 have been a real whirlwind – writing, co-producing and directing “Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank”… and we just had a screening of my new comedy, “Curse of the Pink Panties,” shot a horror short. I finally put some of my classic Cranium Candy VHS titles onto DVD with 2 VJs hosting them… kind of like the old Mystery Science Theater… but starring The Sexy VJ Party Girls instead of robots.

Now what all should I write about? Where do I even start? How about when I was 15 with only a learner’s permit that required an adult to be in the car with me, so I had my Mom lay on the floor while I drove her Cadillac, dragging a dummy through the streets? How about sharing how I shoot features on next to no budget? Giving tips and shortcuts for filmmakers? Funny behind the scenes stories? The first love scene I directed and didn’t know what the hell I was doing? The story about my gaffer who came close to instant death when he held live cables an inch a part that were patched into my house’s electrical box, causing the electricity to arc and blowing the power on my entire block? All of the above? Oh, and posting pictures – I have lots of production stills!

Well, I’m very open to any ideas and feedback from you – my 5 or 10 or 20 or however many readers and B-Movie fans reading this right now. Maybe this’ll be kind of fun…